Sooooo What Do You Want For Your Birthday???

Summer is my favorite season. Always has been.

Maybe it's the ex-summer camp counselor in me who played all summer long and got paid for it.
Maybe it's because I'm a teacher and summer represents the biggest mental health break ever.
Maybe it's because I live in Maine, which is by far the best place to spend your summers. Ocean? Lakes? Woods? Hot days paired with cool nights? Can we say Vacationland? Yes, yes we can.

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But there is another reason that I love the summer.

I have a summer birthday.

And it's officially upon us.

It's my birthday month.

Now my birthday isn't until this Sunday, but in July, I like to treat everyday like my birthday. Because, you know, why not? 

A week or so before anyone's birthday a person is going to get the same question over and over again.

"Sooooo what do you want for your birthday?"

Despite the fact that I love my birthday and telling people that it's within the next thirty days, I find  this to be a pretty weird question to answer. 

Are there things that I want in general? Yes. OBVIOUSLY. 

But I feel like answering that question by actually telling them what you want is a little like this:

"Actually I want this very specific thing, that costs this very specific amount that I know because I've been looking at getting it for a while. And now that I'm telling you that I want this you are obligated to get it for me by this specific date no matter how out of budget or out of the way it would be to get this specific thing for me. If you don't get it for me, we'll both know that it's what I asked for and you didn't get it for me anyway."

So yeah I find it a little weird to answer this question.

Do I actually tell you what I want? What price range do I keep it in? Did you already get me a gift and are poking around to see if you got me the right thing? This could get AWKWARD.

So you know what I've decided to do? I'm going to answer this question ahead of time.
Right here. Right now.
I'm going to tell you all what I REALLY want for my birthday.

WHAT I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY

A House

When I say house I mean mansion.

I live in an apartment. Which is fine and works for right now.

But if I'm asking for things, I would like you to buy me a house for my birthday. I'm going to want to settle into a permanent space soon and houses are expensive, so if you're just willy-nilly offering me things I would like a huge home that has so many rooms I don't know what to do with them.

Preferably this mansion on the ocean. 

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An Obnoxiously Large Dog

I already own a dog, the cutest and most awesome one in the world. And we were waiting to get a second dog until we were renting a house or owned our home. (See above entry.) BUT HEY, I really want one so I'll have you get me one.
 I'm a big dog kinda gal. I've always wanted one.
We ended up getting Bruin who is maybe 40 lbs when it's a fat jeans kinda day, which is a great size for an apartment. And the plan was to rescue some awkward shepherd/lab/wolf mix from our local shelter, but if you're getting me a gift, then a purebred Great Dane or Irish Wolfhound would be great.

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Save up, they are hundreds of dollars.
And if you have extra money, then I'll take that weird looking hundred pound mix from the shelter too. Because once you have one dog, what's another 2 right?

Free Passes for Whatever Substitute Teacher I Want
Let me explain.
As a middle school teacher getting a sub for either a scheduled or unscheduled absence is hard.
Getting a good sub is near impossible.
This makes calling out sick a  pain in the neck. I have gone into school barely concious and barely awake because I hate planning for a sub and coming back from a sub SO MUCH.
 I would like the option of choosing anyone in the world to be the substitute for a day a few times this upcoming school year.
This person would read my sub plans and actually try and execute them, be firm and fair with my students so they don't get away with junk just because there's a sub, and not leave me notes with the names of almost every student as a trouble maker. Oh, I'd also like my classroom as clean as I left it because we all know I guilt cleaned the night before and I should reap the benefits of that too.

I feel like this guy would be first up on my list.

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I bet he would pity the fool that tried to tell him they had special permission to wander the hallways during class.

 Private Island and Unlimited Airline Reward Points

When I needed a break from my mansion on the ocean, I would like to visit a private island of my own. You know with lots of sun, a big beach, another mansion, and a hammock. Oh and mojitos. Lots of mojitos.
Also flying is expensive so if you're getting me the private island,  I'll need some sort of giftcard that gives me free air miles to said private island. I mean it's only polite.

Lifetime supply of Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts Coffee On Call At All Times
At the stores.
In my house.
At school.
A traveling cart that follows me whereever I go?
I don't know. I want to me the most awake person ever.
Best birthday gift ever.

A Willow Tree

I dunno, I've always thought willow trees were super cool. And I'd like to read any birthday books I receive underneath it. So yeah, I think I'd like a willow while you're asking.

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World Peace

I don't even know what this would be or look like.
But it sounds good, so I'd like to have it for my birthday.

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I guess that's a good place for me to end my list.

Listen, when it comes to stuff for my birthday, my favorite gifts are the ones that other people pick out for me. The ones that they go, "Man this _____ is so Tricia. Totally getting it for her." Or, "OMG she mentioned she liked these once when we were hanging out!"

Chances are, if someone is actually getting me something I'm going to be flattered that they even thought to get me anything at all. Someone could give me a branch off of a tree in my front lawn and I'd be pumped.
You know, because it's my birthday.


And if people still want to ask? I'll just send them to Dave. I drop hints to him allllll the time. :-)