Friday's Letters (7/6/12)

Dear Bachelorette party invitations,
You're not going to sit down and make and send yourselves now are you? I guess you'll be one of my projects today before my 4:30-9:30 shift at the stand. Please be easy on me.

Dear Maine weather,
as I sit down and watch the national news about the weather across the country, I just wanted to thank you for being pretty awesome this summer. (so far...) I'd like to continue to hang out on the porch with my dog without getting heatstroke and getting a little bit of a tan. Keep making it happen.

Bruin and I tanning our bums.

Dear babies/adorable young children,
DEAR GOD YOU'RE EVERYWHERE. For me, this is usually fine. I oodle over how cute you are, make some faces, and compliment your parents on making a beautiful baby.
Now here's the problem, when I turn to compliment your parents I quickly realize that they're my age. "Holy Crapoly that could be me!" I think.
This seems to be happening all the time lately. Not just strangers on the street or work either. Many of the blogs I read are having babies all over the place. Not to mention people I work with, and family members too! Now, coming from a big family, again, I'm used to this. But recently my husband's cousin (he's only one of 8, opposed to my 45 or so first cousins) just gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. AND SHE'S OUR AGE!
Babies you then have to go and put the nail in the coffin by being out of control cute, smiling back at the faces I make, and having seemingly happy parents. Adorable young children, lately you've all been super polite, again too cute for your own good, ask hilarious and endearing questions, and reading my signs at the custard stand way earlier than developmentally normal.

MY UTERUS CAN'T HANDLE MUCH MORE OF THIS.

Babies, you might be wondering why this is all such a problem (or maybe that face you're making is because you have gas, I don't know.) I'm not quite ready to have a kid. My career. My hubby's career. Our living space. Our finances. And vacations, I want to go on more vacations. All of these things= I am not ready to have one of you. I'm just not.
So, babies and young children, if you could, just for the next few years, be a little uglier. Be less polite. Start talking back to your parents. Cry when you look at me. Start pooping when I'm holding you. And really terrorize your parents before I see them so they look like zombies.
Oh and fight your parents when they put your chubby little arms into nautical outfits and preppy clothing. There's nothing that makes me want to have a baby more than when I see one dressed up looking like they're about to get onto a fancy boat.

This is a pinterest find. Follow me here.

Dear next week,
You're a pretty big deal. Not only do you start off with my birthday on Sunday, but some other stuff is happening that I can't really talk about here. I've been gearing up for it for a little while, and now my nerves and excitement are pretty high up there. Please happen swiftly, and please turn out exactly the way that I hope you will. Or else I'll be real upset and never speak to you again, next week!


Dear city I live in,
One of your volunteers called my phone and told me I would be facing a fine because Bruin wasn't registered at all and it's June. UH HELLO HE'S SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO ME AND HIS TAG IS TOTALLY FOR THIS YEAR! Oh, and I have the paperwork too. I'll be storming into your office today with my paperwork and an attitude.
Also, I'm getting tired of the trash guys just chucking my trash can into the middle of the road for it to roll away when they're done emptying it in the truck. I've already lost the cover because of this and am not in the mood for it getting broken because it's run over or thrown too hard I'd rather have to bring my trash to a dump than deal with that!

Yes, this is baby Virginia from "Queen of Jordan" on "30 Rock".

Dear Victoria's Secret Yoga Cropped-Leggings,
You came in the mail yesterday when I didn't expect them to come until next Wednesday.
You are heaven. Thank you.

Here

Dear followers, readers, stalkers, and even new visitors,
I have been loving all of the comments, the visitors, and the loving all of the lovin'!
Now there are a few things that I'd like to just through out there that have been getting to me a little bit.
If you follow me because you genuinely like to read what I have to say, then awesome. Super cool.  On the other hand if you are following me strictly to get a follow back then you might end up disappointed. I will probably at some point check out your blog if you are on my google friend connect. But that does not guarantee that I will follow your blog as well. I follow the blogs that I will want to read on a semi-daily basis. I'm sorry if your blog is not one of those. But do you honestly want people following you who do not want to read your content? Who have no interest in what you have to say? It's something to think about.
 Similarly, if you comment on my blog I will try to email you (if your email is enabled! So please enable it!) in a reasonable amount of time in response. Please bare with me! I want to get back to you, I promise!
I will also probably check out your blog if you comment here. I might even follow it's something that I'm interested in or might be interested in the future.
But please do not comment here simply because you want me to check out your blog.
 If you're commenting  on my post I would like it to be because you'd like to comment on my post, not because you just want me to check out your blog. Ex: "Hey I'm new here and am commenting so, please check my blog out!" or "I'm now following you so please check my blog out to follow me too!"
Because guess what? That will make me not want to check out your blog.
I like getting feedback on my actual content, not feedback on how desperate you are for followers.
I wrote a little while ago about this here. Please indulge. Here's another that I wrote last year about struggling with "follow-backs" myself.   Here's the semi-follow-up post to that.
And if you've been one of these people before (LET'S BE HONEST. I feel like  at some point all of us have gone through a stage where we were worried about our followers or following the right people before. Whether leaving desperate comments or trying to get follow backs. We were all new and once.) then no hard feelings. I won't hold it against you.
Phew, rant over.

Dear customers at the stand,
Please tip freely tonight when I go to work and you're getting your custard. Mama wants some spending money for the end of the summer!

Alright, that's it for today's long-winded letters! Stay cool and stay fabulous!