Believing in Karma

I've believed in a lot of things during my life time.

God.
Jesus.
Santa.
Myself.
Other people.
The fact that I couldn't believe in other people.
Other people again.
That maybe what I've believed in, isn't something I should put belief in at all.
A love that lasts a lifetime.
That I could do anything I set my mind to.
That I could never do anything.
That I could do anything I set my mind to again.
The tooth fairy.
That my dog can read my mind.

Some of these things turned out to be things I could have faith in, others not so much.
(Man was that whole Santa thing a bummer.)

But one thing I wasn't ever quite sure about was Karma.

It's a nice idea.
If I do something good, eventually I will benefit from this action and receive good on my end later on.

I've always had faith or religion, but I've never really put too much thought towards Karma. I always just tried to do good things because hey, that's nice.
And if I caught myself doing something "bad" I stopped myself because, well that's bad.
And I didn't want to be bad.

And of course I use phrases like, "I guess Karma's a bitch!" and "This will definitely bring you good karma."  But it never really meant anything. I guess for me, Karma meant, okay I didn't something good, and I mean if I wait long enough something else good will happen because well, I waited long enough and that's just bound to happen.

What I think I'm trying to say here is as an early twenty something year old who has had my own beliefs in how the world works through my own faith, and then lost some faith, and then maybe found it again, I didn't give much thought to this idea that seems to make sense but also seems a little silly to believe in.
Never mind the fact that it's closely related to another faith that is widely different than mine. (You know the one that I've been lost then found, then lost, and now maybe finally found again?)

But then last school year happened.

And it was really, really, really hard.

Both professionally and personally.

At school I was creating a curriculum up on the fly that should have been divided into two separate classes, and then trying to teach it to some of my most behaviorally and academically challenging students I'd ever had.
At the end of every day I was physically and emotionally exhausted.
I kept on giving every single ounce of what I had to my career and my students both in and out of school. I tried to look at the positives. I had wonderful teammates that always had my back and tried to celebrate the little things that went well at work.

My personal life was a break and relief from what was going on at school. But I didn't take care of myself the way I should. I wasn't taking enough time off, I wasn't working out, I wasn't focusing on family, friends, my faith or even my marriage the way I'd like to. I was so consumed in surviving the school year that everything else took the back burner.

But, I continued to work hard. I put in my best effort. And the only way for me to get through that was by staying positive, and trying to do the right thing by my students everyday just because it was the right thing to do.

Now I didn't really think about the word Karma much during the school year. I think the closest I got to it was thinking, "What did I ever do to deserve all of this." More of a whoa is me, why am I being punished when I'd just had a bad day.

The school year ended and I moved on. I slowly started to feel like a person with a life outside of work. I knew that I'd learned a lot but it was hard for me to put the year into perspective. I mostly focused on making some extra money and trying to take care of everything that had fallen to the wayside during the school year.

Then September rolled around. I got anxious. I was nervous. If last year was like last year would I make it? Was it always going to be that hard?

I went through the first day of school.
And it was the easiest first day of school yet.
But I wouldn't hold my breath because hey, it's just the first day of school.

And then I made it through my first week of school.
And it was the most pleasant first week of school yet.
But I wouldn't hold my breath because hey, it's just the first week of school.

And now I've made it almost through my first month of school.
And it has been probably the best first month of school yet.

Now the schedule this year confusing, with few breaks, and from what I've been told by some of the veteran's in the building the hardest one to follow that they've seen; and I am still creating a new curriculum because I'm teaching Humanities again but this time to 7th graders; and of course there are always going to be students not on grade level; and there are always going to be students that take every ounce of patience and positivity that I can muster to make it through the day.

BUT.

Something's different.

The problems are manageable. The solutions are easier to find. I'm happier. The lessons and units are coming to me easier and unfolding more smoothly.

And at home? I have more energy. I'm taking care of more things like I vowed I'd try to. And I'm finding more time to take care of myself. I'm working out. I'm eating better. I'm keeping in touch with friends and seeing my family much more often than I did last year.

Maybe things are easier for me this year because I grew as a teacher.
Maybe things are easier because I spent so much time trying to come up with things that were positive to reassure myself that it just comes naturally.
Maybe things are easier because things this year are just easier.

But after those first few days of school one word kept popping up in my head.

Karma.

I knew it.

No matter the reason, I felt like whatever was happening to me and my life starting this school year had to do with the word Karma.

I knew that I was somehow now receiving whatever hard work and good that I'd sent out into the world last year.

And it was exactly what I needed.

Is life perfect? No. Because that's not how life, or at least I think, Karma works.

Do I think that I'm a little happier this year because of the good I put out into the world coming back to me? I sure do.

So tomorrow, or maybe even sometime later this week or the next when things get tough. When you don't feel like giving to others because you would like to give to yourself. When what is good and right thing to do isn't easy. When you'd like to put your needs in front of the needs of someone else.

Think about Karma. 

It may not come your way when you want it, but it will most definitely come your way when you need it.

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Think good thoughts, and do good deeds this week.
I'll send some good Karma your way. ;)

A List Of Things I've Been Doing Lately

It occurred to me the other day when I woke up from my super casual two hour nap after school the other day that I have a blog.
That blog is this blog and I also simultaneously realized that I hadn't posted in that blog for about three weeks.
Which also just by chance happens to be the amount of time that I've been in school.

Juuuuust a coincidence. Right?

While I could be all "Blah blah blah OMG TEACHING IS JUST SO SUPER HARD AND BUSY LET ME GIVE YOU MY SCHEDULE FOR THE LAST WEEK TO JUSTIFY WHY I'VE BEEN GONE." I feel like that is pointless and you could find it elsewhere.
Like any teaching blog you follow.
Or this blog right here. Go ahead, see any post I have on teaching it's probably of the above flavor. (That's right, I'm not above calling myself out.)

So instead I'm going to give everyone a general overview of things I've been doing lately in my favorite way: list form.

Sweating

The weather is still hanging out between 70 and 80 degrees. When you're in a classroom that's on the second floor with 30 year-old carpeting you have a recipe for some pit stains.
As far as my teacher clothing goes, I have 3 outfits that are comfortable in that sort of weather. And only one that I'd actually want to wear. So I've been rotating a few t-shirts in with my one pair of capri's and dress pants into my outfits and then just dabbing myself with tissues the rest of the time.
Needless to say, I'm ready for the fall weather to set in so I can start wearing what most of my wardrobe consists of: COMFY SWEATERS!

Yoga

I haven't been going to classes, but a couple of days a week (when I can peel myself out of bed at 5 am) I've been ordering the hour video on our demand channel. On the mornings that I do yoga before I head to school I literally feel like nothing can shake me. And let's face it I feel a little less guilty about not working out if I get home and am too tired to move.

Telling Jokes

At some point over the summer I forgot how hilarious I am.
I also forgot how hilariously lame I come off to 7th graders, especially when I'm intentionally making  horrible jokes on purpose to set their standards low.

Channeling My Inner Camp Counselor

Because we have 7th graders this year that we will have next year as well, my team and I have been really focusing on team building for the first two weeks of school. This means that we were doing a lot of name games, problem solving, and cooperative challenges.
So for the past three weeks I've been switching back and forth from being a super professional 7th grade teacher to my old camp counselor days. All 8 years of running games and creating activities at summer camp for 8 years really paid off, and was kind of a blast.

Become My Mother, My Father, And Every Other Adult Who Put Me In My Place

When you get a group of students that you know you're going to have for two years, you have to put your foot down right from the get-go. That will cause a lot less heartache down the road. It makes me giggle a little when I hear myself use phrases and get after students for things that people used to get after me for. The circle of life goes on.
But don't worry, I haven't gotten to the point where I've had to use, "Because I said so," yet....

Being Useless When I Get Home

*Insert joke about my husband doing all of the housework because I catch narcolepsy when I walk into the apartment.*
I'll be used to being back at work again soon right?

Eating Fresher, And Cleaner

I've been finding cleaner recipes for dinners and lunches.
We've been getting our produce, hummus, and even some meat from our local farmer's market.
Not only do I feel better about buying local, but I feel better because I'm eating good food.
Oh and it's been super yummy.
THANKS PINTEREST.

Keeping Up With Family

The weekends have been family get togethers, sleep overs at parent's houses, and trying to make it to XC meets and soccer games. Sometimes successfully, and sometimes not so much. The weekends have been full, and that's been just fine.

Sleeping. Lots of Sleeping. 

Naps. Going to bed early. Sleeping in late.
If I'm not in the middle of a cup of coffee or in the middle of a lesson plan you can probably find me dozing off with some drool leaking from the corner of my mouth.

Figuring Out HOW I Want To Reach My Fitness Goals

I have fitness goals. This summer I wasn't that great at motivating myself. I have found my motivation, but am finding that with school starting and just my preferences changing, the way I've always gone about fitness just isn't working for me anymore. So I'm exploring changes I can make to my workout routine to get myself out of this workout-rut.

Painting My Nails

If I don't paint my nails I tend to chew them, which is gross.
But if they chip then my new nervous habit and picking the polish off.
Soooo I've been doing a lot of painting and retouching.
This week it's light purple and glitter on the the ring fingers.
(But if you followed me on Twitter you'd already know that!

Answering Nervous Questions About How School Is Going

Last year if you asked me how my school year was going I would get this crazy look in my eyes, tell you it was alright, and then look like I was about to cry.

I learned a lot from my students last year. I think I got a lot of really great skills and I would like to think I made some difference for some students. I also got my first taste of teaching Humanities and integrating language arts and social studies. I developed a curriculum and learned what I liked and what I didn't like about how I taught it.
BUT GOD WAS LAST YEAR HARD.
So when people ask me how my year is going so far, I can tell they're a little nervous about what sort of reaction they're going to get from me. I think they're pleasantly surprised when I smile and say, "Actually, really well!"

Becoming A Real Person At Home

For those of you whom aren't regulars here, my husband is most likely going up for sainthood within the year. Since I started teaching he picks up a lot of the slack on the home-front.
This especially went for last year (please see above category) when I could barely keep my head above water at school.
During the summer it was much easier to do my part, but alas summer is over.
But this school year, I'm anticipating a the year to be a little less exhausting and trying my darndest to not only be a real person at school, but also a real person at home that cooks dinner at least 3 times a week.
I know, I know, it's a lofty goal, but I think I can make it!

Pretending I'm Organized

I am not the most organized person in the world.
Actually let me rephrase that.
I'm not an organized person.

BUT

I have organized my desk drawers at school for the first time in my life.
I have organized my jewlery, make-up, hair elastics, and hair clips all onto rings and into zip up bags and lotions.
I have organized all of my student information and important lists for school into a binder.
I am not expecting any of this to last long.
But it sure does feel nice to pretend!

Forcing Myself To Read

This sounds like I hate reading.
I love reading.
But often find myself saying, "Man I wish I had time to read during the school year. I feel like I can only enjoy a book during the summer!"
Which in a way is true. I go to work, come home, eat dinner, and more often than not do some more work.
But, I also watch television.
I also read blogs, and check facebook, and pin away to my heart's content.
So realistically, could I read more? Yes. I just have to force myself. So I've downloaded a couple new books to the kindle and am ready to cut some other stuff out so I can enjoy a few good books.

That, in a little nutshell is what I've been up to.
Time for me to read some of my favorite blogs, because that is something that I have NOT been up to and need to do.
Stay fabulous this week!

Friday's Letters 8/17/2012

Well hello there!
Let's write some letters shall we?

Dear Readers,
Shortly after writing and posting this, I am going to do another post immediately afterwards. I wanted to get my Maid of Honor toast/speech up after realizing today is the week anniversary of my sister and her husband's big day. I'll put the link to that post here after it's up.
That's right, two posts in a day. DEAL WITH IT. :)
*Update: The maid of honor speech has been posted. You can read it here. *

Dear school,
One week huh?
I suppose you're not going to plan for yourself.
But looks like I've got to do all of you at hom because my classroom isn't finished being cleaned, with a week to go. *LOOOONNGGGEXASPERATEDSIIIIIIGGGGHHHH*

Dear 98 degrees,
I'm watching you on the Today show right now.
Congrats, 3 out of 4 of you are still kinda cute. (Sorry guy in the bowler hat and half beard.)
BUT
Right now you're doing that super awkward chair thing where you're casually swaying in them backwards and putting your feet up and down on them.
No one does that anymore because it's awkward and distracting.
You're men and can no longer get away with sitting in chairs awkwardly on stage because I'm no longer distracted by your good looks. Get some new moves so I can sing "I do cherish you" in peace.
Maybe break out the stools?
P.S. Congratulations, my mouth is automatically singing all of your lyrics without my brain doing any work after about 10 years. It's all just coming out.
World dominance is apparently yours.

Dear stuffy nose,
Is this a head cold or allergies?
Please write back and let me know because I'd like to know if this is going to be a long term thing.

Dear hair,
We're getting you cut today at noon.
I'm excited to finally get you some nice layers and trimmed bangs now that I don't need to have you grown out. Maybe we'll even get you thinned out so you're not so thick!
This also means less ponytails. I hate styling you when you're shoulder length and boring. So up you go. But now that you won't be so long you're in my face I might actually leave you down.
One thing though, please don't put me through hell trying to get you up in a ponytail for workouts or the ice cream shop. I keep on losing clips and do enjoy getting ready last minute. Thanks.

Dear Lana Del Rey,
I can't stop listening to these two songs/watching the music videos.

I used to judge you after that weird SNL performance, but now I'm in love with you and your music.
Keep it going girl.

Dear hubby,
Thanks for bringing me coffee one night at work, and then dinner the next night.
You're from a book or something. I shall keep you.

7 Reasons Why You Love The Olympics (And Why You're Voldemort If You Don't)

There are a lot of things that I enjoy about having my summers off. Having random beach days, watching the Today show, getting a part-time job to make some extra cash, reading as many books as I can afford to buy, seeing family and friends that I can't seem to get to during the school year, and taking a break from the students to totally rejuvenate myself.

But this does not cover my most favorite reason for having my summers off:

BEING ABLE TO WATCH THE SUMMER OLYMPICS ALL. DAY. LONG.

Like every other human being in the world, I am currently obsessed with the Olympics. I can't stop watching them or bringing them up in conversation with whomever I come into contact with. 

If social media has taught me anything, it is that I am not alone. Everyone is swept up with Olympic fever. Watching live stream on their laptops, constantly checking standings online, and settling down every night to watch the highlights. We're following Olympic athletes on their twitter, and reading personal pieces about their journeys on NBC.com. 

We're all totally consumed and can not stop. We don't want to stop, I mean why would we when our swim team isn't?

The big question might be why? Why do we all stop and obsess over this international sporting event that occurs every two years? (Yes we have to wait two years for the winter olympics.)

Do not fret, here for you today, I have the answers. I can explain to you why you will not be able to focus on your day to day life for the next week and a half, and why businesses will be losing about $650 million in productivity while their workers watch the hammer throw instead of creating an excel sheet.

Why You Love The Olympics

1. When America Wins, You Win.

So maybe you've had a rough day at work. Maybe you spilled coffee all over yourself in the car. Maybe you're going through a rough break-up. Maybe your pet snail has gone missing. Maybe nothing seems to be going right for you lately Charlie Brown. 

But, while watching the fab four win the team gold, or Michael Phelps become the most decorated Olympian ever, you have a chance to forget. 

You might not ever get that coffee stain out of that white-silk shirt, but you had 1 minute watching a bulky man swim through a pool while you yelled at the TV forgetting all about it. You were in the pool with him, you were hugging his mom after the win.

These athletes worked hard enough than thousands of Americans put together ever will in their entire lives to win that gold, so I we can ride that coat tail for a little longer. 

Go ahead and feel like you had a part of winning that medal by throwing popcorn in the air during the finish,  because hey,  that's your flag up there too. 

 You should at least feel like you're in the stadium with them as they flub up those National Anthem lyrics and choke up a little at the same time.

Which brings me to my next point.

2. You Love A Good Happy Cry (It's The American Thing To Do)

Like most people who aren't Cruella Deville, I am not a huge fan of crying. Especially when it's a 17-year-old whose dreams have been smashed and reporters just can't leave her alone.

But, there are some happy tears that happen in the Olympics. And happy tears of Olympians will often beget happy tears of us mere mortals. At least they do if you aren't Voldemort.

Say all you want, but I have a hard time not sobbing and hugging my TV  when America's latest swimming sweetheart, 17-year-old Missy Franklin, cried at the top of the olympic podium.

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And her parents? How proud and adorable are they as they cry a little bit over their only child? They make me want to have a baby and bring it to the pool at 5AM every morning for the rest of my life so I can happy cry that adorably when they make it to the Space Olympics on the moon in 18 years.

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Speaking of parents, who can keep it together when Mama Phelps is wiping away tears of joy as her son becomes the most decorated Olympian ever. God she's fabulous.

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What about when our Marti Malloy won her Judo match for the bronze? I totally got teary.

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And you can go ahead and call me un-american, but I choked up a little when South Africa's Chad Le Clos ruined Michael Phelp's day by winning the gold and then proceeded to ugly cry on the podium. 

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Not to mention his father who was so excited he hid under a flag ugly crying 3 gold medals better than his son.

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If you watch clips of any of those moments and don't get a little verklempt, then you should  probably just haunt little British children in hospitals with these guys because it sounds like Mary Poppins needs to take care of your attitude:

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One last thing while we're on the topic of getting overemotional over the Olympics:

 Even the commercials get me all weepy. 

First, any of the P&G commercials featuring the moms. Hands down they will get your tear ducts aflowin in all sorts of happy ways right before you call your mom. 

Here's my favorite:

Second, I think this Nike commercial could probably make a robot human with emotion.

So how is happy crying the American thing to do?

My question for you is, do you think Francis Scott Key had dry eyes as he composed the Start Spangled banner? Do you think someone could write about a "twilight's last gleaming" without letting the waterworks happen? 

That guy was totally crying. Therefore, it's now an American tradition to happy cry when things get real patriotic. 

And if you don't every once and a while, you should probably pack your bags and move to Canada because with all of my happy tears there's no room for you here.

3. You Are Officially Now An Expert In Everything.

This goes two ways.

a. You Are A Wealth Of Useless Facts

The beauty of 24/7 coverage of the Olympics means that when our NBC broadcasters run out of useful information about the match, they just start blabbering on about whatever they want to fill the time with.  

And when broadcasters fill time, useless information for you to gobble up and insert into casual cocktail conversation/talks with strangers ensues. 

You might hate some of the comments that they make, but I don't care who you are, you like having information other people don't. Your conversations for the next few weeks will have comments spattered throughout (by you or some other competing Olympic enthusiast) like the following.

"Have you heard about the Japanese Olympian in the equestrian events? He's 71 years old! He first competed in the 1964 Olympics! What an inspiration!"

"Did you know that U.S. beach volleyball players Misty May and Kerri Walsh have never lost an Olympic match?"

"Did you know the last time the women's gymnastic's team won a gold medal was before 15 year old gymnast Kyla Ross was born?"

"Well you must know that the last event to occur in this year's Olympics will be the woman's pentathlon."

"Did you know the Olympic gymnast  John Orozco put his first paycheck as a teenager towards his parent's mortgage?"

People may not like a know it all, but you sure do like to know it all. So watch, take notes, and start chatting it up with a random stranger at the bus-stop. 

You are an informant of Olympic proportions.  It's time to talk up America, and some other countries on occasion too.

b. You Are An Expert Olympic Judge In Every Sport

One only needs to watch a quarter of Women's water polo to be an expert. With your underwater cameras and enthusiastic commentators gasping about every block and penalty, you have all of the tools to be flown out to London right now and referee the gold medal match. 

And it only takes 5 minutes of watching Men's Canoe double to know when a time penalty needs to be given from a mile away. You've seen about 3 races and already skimmed the rules on the official Wikipedia page.

It's a tough job, watching and becoming an expert of every Olympic event. But you can do it.

 Invite your friends over to watch some archery and show them that you're the expert by yelling at the judges for a call that was clearly unfair, and referring to the athletes as bowmen. Because that's the official name for them, and you are the expert after all.

4. It's (Somewhat) Socially Acceptable To Sit Around All Day And Watch The Olympics

It's happened to many of us. 

It's your day off, so as you begin your day you sit down with your cereal deciding what you'd like to do with all of your free time and you notice USA is having a Law and Order-SVU marathon. 

Suddenly, it's 2 PM and your mom calls asking you what you've done all day. 

You look at Detective Elliot Stabler for an answer but he's too busy beating up some perp during interrogation so you panic and make something up about walking the dog and solving that whole world peace debacle.

Now, fastforward to tomorrow when you're watching Track, Sailing and Table Tennis.

Your mom calls and asks you about what you're up to.

"I supported the United States and watched the Olympics all day. And I wrote a super informative blog post about it. Oh, then I was inspired to go for a run and do some pushups because Kerri Walsh has two babies and puts my body to shame."

Watching a TV marathon is a guilty pleasure that I feel many of us share. Whether you're sick and Monk re-runs are the only medicine, or it's a rainy day and The Big Bank Theory is the answer to occupy your time; TV marathons happen and they're hard to talk about.

But there's nothing hard to talk about when it comes to having a front seat in your living room to horses jumping over well trimmed shrubbery. 

Just make sure you get up and take some stretch breaks, maybe even do some sit-ups or vacuum during tv breaks. That way you're not only being patriotic, but productive.

5. It's A Great Time To Admire The Human Body.

For this section I'm mostly going to show you some photos and captions.

It's nice every once and a while to admire how rockin' someone can get their body if they dedicated all of their time and effort towards a physical goal.
The Olympics is probably the best time to do that.

Here are a few of the hundreds of Olympians with whom I would trade bodies with for a day and whom you should admire.
Yes there are guys on this list too. Their six-18 pack abs are just to awesome not to.

(But only for a day because I think I'd ruin it after a week of stress eating and sitting around watching the Olympics.)

Kerri Walsh or Misty May

The one on the right has had 2 kids in the last 3 years. I thought you should know just in case you wanted to feel a little worse about yourself. (via)

The Entire Men's and Women's Swim Team

Negative percent body fat, 100 percent muscle. If you asked me to swim their races, I would probably drown. (via)

Serena and Venus Williams

I wouldn't be able to chose between whose body I'd like to have. Just surprise me with either super toned arms or the best butt on earth.  I'd be happy with either. (via)

Tom Daley, British Diver

So I mean he has average abdominal muscles right? I would do sit-ups all day if I were him. Just for fun. (via)

6. There's Something About An Underdog

I love nothing more than to see someone overcome crushing odds to compete in the Olympics.

We'd all like to think that we have some great underdog stories here in the US with some of our professional athletes. And yes, there are NFL teams with players who have overcome great adversity. There are some great stories about professional baseball teams coming back from major losses to win it all in the end. 

But those are not the underdogs that I am writing about. I have a hard time referring to people as underdogs when they're going home to a mansion with 4 bathrooms and 2 soda machines.

I'm writing here about the real underdogs. I'm talking about the people who not only have to do to do the "normal" work it takes to be athletically capable enough to join the Olympics, but also had to overcome huge challenges that I could never imagine in order to just live their life.

For instance, there's South African runner Oscar Pistorious.

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His legs from a little bleow the knee are actually carbon fiber. He had to have an amputation at 11 months old. He's now running for South Africa on their track team in their 400 relay.

 Read more about him here.

Or how about our own Lopez Lomong.

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He came to the U.S. in 2001 from Sudan, where he was one of the 200,000 "Lost Boys". He was abducted and assumed dead by his family at the age of 6. He escaped his captors but had to run for 3 days with 4 other boys until he got to the border of Kenya. 

He will now be running the 5000m race for the United States of America. 

 Ummm....He makes me proud to be an American.

These are just two of many stories featuring extraordinary people overcoming the odds and becoming the best in their field. These stories give us hope for human kind and inspire us to do our best in our day to day lives. Because that's what an underdog is all about. 

7. Because They're The Olympics!

Let's face it, you don't need a reason to love the Olympics, you just do. You might have other deep seated reasons you can't stay away from the Olympics, matter how hard you try. There's just something about watching human beings coming together, no matter their country, political party, religion, race, or ethnicity and competing for a common goal.

Have you been watching the Olympics? Avoiding them at all costs? Do you have any other reasons you love the Olympics or ones you think I missed? I'm in the Olympic spirit so share your thoughts in the comments. 

Have an fabulous Thursday full of Gold medals! :)

Sooooo What Do You Want For Your Birthday???

Summer is my favorite season. Always has been.

Maybe it's the ex-summer camp counselor in me who played all summer long and got paid for it.
Maybe it's because I'm a teacher and summer represents the biggest mental health break ever.
Maybe it's because I live in Maine, which is by far the best place to spend your summers. Ocean? Lakes? Woods? Hot days paired with cool nights? Can we say Vacationland? Yes, yes we can.

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But there is another reason that I love the summer.

I have a summer birthday.

And it's officially upon us.

It's my birthday month.

Now my birthday isn't until this Sunday, but in July, I like to treat everyday like my birthday. Because, you know, why not? 

A week or so before anyone's birthday a person is going to get the same question over and over again.

"Sooooo what do you want for your birthday?"

Despite the fact that I love my birthday and telling people that it's within the next thirty days, I find  this to be a pretty weird question to answer. 

Are there things that I want in general? Yes. OBVIOUSLY. 

But I feel like answering that question by actually telling them what you want is a little like this:

"Actually I want this very specific thing, that costs this very specific amount that I know because I've been looking at getting it for a while. And now that I'm telling you that I want this you are obligated to get it for me by this specific date no matter how out of budget or out of the way it would be to get this specific thing for me. If you don't get it for me, we'll both know that it's what I asked for and you didn't get it for me anyway."

So yeah I find it a little weird to answer this question.

Do I actually tell you what I want? What price range do I keep it in? Did you already get me a gift and are poking around to see if you got me the right thing? This could get AWKWARD.

So you know what I've decided to do? I'm going to answer this question ahead of time.
Right here. Right now.
I'm going to tell you all what I REALLY want for my birthday.

WHAT I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY

A House

When I say house I mean mansion.

I live in an apartment. Which is fine and works for right now.

But if I'm asking for things, I would like you to buy me a house for my birthday. I'm going to want to settle into a permanent space soon and houses are expensive, so if you're just willy-nilly offering me things I would like a huge home that has so many rooms I don't know what to do with them.

Preferably this mansion on the ocean. 

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An Obnoxiously Large Dog

I already own a dog, the cutest and most awesome one in the world. And we were waiting to get a second dog until we were renting a house or owned our home. (See above entry.) BUT HEY, I really want one so I'll have you get me one.
 I'm a big dog kinda gal. I've always wanted one.
We ended up getting Bruin who is maybe 40 lbs when it's a fat jeans kinda day, which is a great size for an apartment. And the plan was to rescue some awkward shepherd/lab/wolf mix from our local shelter, but if you're getting me a gift, then a purebred Great Dane or Irish Wolfhound would be great.

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Save up, they are hundreds of dollars.
And if you have extra money, then I'll take that weird looking hundred pound mix from the shelter too. Because once you have one dog, what's another 2 right?

Free Passes for Whatever Substitute Teacher I Want
Let me explain.
As a middle school teacher getting a sub for either a scheduled or unscheduled absence is hard.
Getting a good sub is near impossible.
This makes calling out sick a  pain in the neck. I have gone into school barely concious and barely awake because I hate planning for a sub and coming back from a sub SO MUCH.
 I would like the option of choosing anyone in the world to be the substitute for a day a few times this upcoming school year.
This person would read my sub plans and actually try and execute them, be firm and fair with my students so they don't get away with junk just because there's a sub, and not leave me notes with the names of almost every student as a trouble maker. Oh, I'd also like my classroom as clean as I left it because we all know I guilt cleaned the night before and I should reap the benefits of that too.

I feel like this guy would be first up on my list.

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I bet he would pity the fool that tried to tell him they had special permission to wander the hallways during class.

 Private Island and Unlimited Airline Reward Points

When I needed a break from my mansion on the ocean, I would like to visit a private island of my own. You know with lots of sun, a big beach, another mansion, and a hammock. Oh and mojitos. Lots of mojitos.
Also flying is expensive so if you're getting me the private island,  I'll need some sort of giftcard that gives me free air miles to said private island. I mean it's only polite.

Lifetime supply of Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts Coffee On Call At All Times
At the stores.
In my house.
At school.
A traveling cart that follows me whereever I go?
I don't know. I want to me the most awake person ever.
Best birthday gift ever.

A Willow Tree

I dunno, I've always thought willow trees were super cool. And I'd like to read any birthday books I receive underneath it. So yeah, I think I'd like a willow while you're asking.

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World Peace

I don't even know what this would be or look like.
But it sounds good, so I'd like to have it for my birthday.

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I guess that's a good place for me to end my list.

Listen, when it comes to stuff for my birthday, my favorite gifts are the ones that other people pick out for me. The ones that they go, "Man this _____ is so Tricia. Totally getting it for her." Or, "OMG she mentioned she liked these once when we were hanging out!"

Chances are, if someone is actually getting me something I'm going to be flattered that they even thought to get me anything at all. Someone could give me a branch off of a tree in my front lawn and I'd be pumped.
You know, because it's my birthday.


And if people still want to ask? I'll just send them to Dave. I drop hints to him allllll the time. :-)

A Letter to an Unkown Former Follower

Dear Google Friend Connect Who Recently Dropped Me,
I logged in this morning thinking about what post I might write, link-ups  I could join, and other changes I'd like to make in my blog when I glanced to the let hand side of my blog and noticed my GFC went down from 53 to 52.
Now this might make you uncomfortable that I'm writing specifically to you, but hey, look at the title, this is what I'm all about.
Actually, I'm surprisingly writing specifically to thank you.
Like many new bloggers, when I first started I got wrapped up in the numbers game. How can I get more followers? I commented like crazy on other people's blogs leaving a link to mine, joined social networking sites for blogs putting up every post, and motivated half of my posts to get new followers.

Don't worry, I've gotten over this obsession of how many followers and am finally making sure that I'm blogging for me. Hence, the redesign, the renaming, and not apologizing every time I drop this thing because I'm too busy.

Former follower, I may never know why you dropped me. Maybe it was the glitter. Maybe it was because I didn't post for a while this spring. Maybe I've offended you in one post or another. Maybe I'm boring. Maybe you don't like my hair color or sense of humor. Maybe you're angry I haven't posted a photo of Bruin dressed up and posing for a while. The reason, I may never know.

So why am I thanking you?

Well.

After I noticed that you had left, I got thinking about the blogs I follow and why I do and don't follow. And while I came to terms with writing in this blog for me a while ago, I realized I still wasn't READING the blogs that I wanted to.

When I looked at my reader in blogger this morning I realized it was out of control. Some blogs I had been reading because they were the ones that everyone else was. Some blogs I was reading because I thought that my blog should be like theirs. Some blogs I was reading because I'd seen that they started reading mine and decided to click the follow. There were blogs cluttering up my reader that I actually never actually read but kept there because I felt like I had to and blogs that I did like to read getting lost in the sea of the ones that I did not find interesting.

Consequently, this morning I went through all of the blogs on my reader and I clicked on all of them. Much to my surprise, there were like 5 that don't even work anymore. I read the first few posts of each of my blogs and if I decided that I never actually read that blog anyway it was off.
Now, I'm not saying they were "bad" reads or boring. Just blogs that I decided aren't quite for me anymore, or never actually were.

During this process I actually also got reaquanted with those "lost blogs" that I loved! Because I went through all of them I also found the ones that I actually enjoyed and took the time to catch up on what was going on in their life and the stories they had to tell. I also read some old posts that were favorites in the first place. I also actually found a few new blogs that I enjoyed and might follow in the future.

So, mysterious Google Friend Connect reader that has left and may no longer return, I may never know who you were or why you dropped me. But I am officially extending my thanks to you. Thank you for inspiring me to make sure I was only reading what I wanted to read, and not what I felt like I had to read because other people were. Maybe this post will influence others to do the same. My readers might even decide to drop mine, and that's okay. Why would I want someone reading my writing when they don't like it? That's like reading a paper just because you have to grade it. And no one likes that!

Until next time,
Me


With that said, I am looking for some new blogs to read as well as my oldie but goodies. Have any of you my fine readers found one that you really enjoy? Think I might enjoy yours? I like reading blogs with similar interests (teaching, photography, pets, shenanigans, awkwardness and sarcasm) but sometimes like reading other ones that aren't anything like mine but just so happen to strike my fancy. Maybe it's one you just found, have been reading for a while, or heck it might even be yours. Either way, leave some blogs for me to check out in the comment section. I'm looking for some good reads this summer when I'm taking breaks between my professional development books and memoirs of sassy comedians.

Also, have you ever done a "clean-out' of your  google friend reader? Have you ever had a hard time dropping blogs? Do you have a limit on the amount that you keep in your list, or do you just let it keep growing?

Stay cool today guys!

Making a Comeback (Part 2)

I know I said I'd post Part 2 Friday. But after actually doing all of those things that I stated I'd do in my last post, (yes I actually did go to the gym, and I literally did destroy a recipe that I found on Pinterest) I fell asleep.
Because being me is exhausting.
And I think my body knows that's what usually happens to me on a typical Friday night, and my body doesn't want me to get out of my usual schedule. So thoughtful.

Oh, and then yesterday was my anniversary with husband. No big deal.
Either way, anniversary? No post-y.

Plus, you guys didn't actually think I would post twice in a day after not posting for over 4 months did you? (And with further investigation, turns out a month before that. Man this fall was not a good time for blogging huh?)

Either way, here's Part 2 of my "Making a Comeback" series, if you will. This post is going to be about the other things that have been filling up my life while I haven't been blogging for essentially the past 5 months. Or just exciting things that I need to catch you up on.

So here it is, my life in the past 5 months.

Teaching

If I had to name the one thing that has most hindered my time/energy to blog, as well as the reason I should be blogging/writing, teaching would be it. 

I'm in my third year of teaching in general, as well as my third year of teaching at this particular middle school. So reason would tell you that things should be going normally, I'm falling into routine, and this year is the easiest that it's ever been. 

Reason is wrong. 

Many expected changes came my way this fall including: the changing of teaching teams (the other teachers that I teach and work closely within a team environment), changing the students that I would be teaching, changing from having two grade levels to just one grade level, and the biggest one of them all was completely switching content areas from Language Arts to Humanities.  ( I explain more about all of these changes somewhere in one of these posts, have fun sifting)

This all sounds like reasonable and survivable professional changes, which they are, but all together at once it's quite a mix. 

Out of the aforementioned changes, probably the change that has been most taxing is teaching the subject of Humanities. I'm responsible for covering the Language Arts standards as well as the Social Studies standards for my students. Our school has a basic Language Arts curriculum aligned with state standards, and it has a basic Social Studies curriculum aligned with state standards. Humanities curriculum? No such luck. There's one other teacher in the building that teaches it, but they have a different grade level. 

Now, I have received lots of support and suggestions from colleauges. That does not change the fact that this is an extremely overwhelming endeavor. All of the Language Arts teachers in the building, including myself the last two years, teach the same curriculum but in different and unique ways. All of the Social Studies teachers in the building teach the same curriculum but in different and unique ways. That equals a lot of different handouts, philosophies, teaching styles and opinions including my own.

So taking all of this information and synthesizing it together, and essentially trying to teach what 2 teachers do in 2 years with 1 teacher in 1 year while still meeting the EXTREMELY UNIQUE AND DIVERSE needs of all of my students? 

You could say it's been overwhelming. 

Thank God for my teaching teammates and my other close colleagues. They've been guiding the way, giving me confidence, and doing their best to hit some of "my" standards and content to lighten the educational load. 

The planning and grading that goes along with Humanities? It's intimidating, immense and time consuming. I'll keep it at that.

Did I mention that I have students?
Oh yes I have 70 students. All in 8th grade.  
Which first of all,  both years that I've taught I've had 7th and 8th grade. Only teaching 8th grade is way different than teaching both 7th and 8th. Each grade level has different attributes and it's nice to get a taste of both throughout the day. So assimilating to teaching one grade level at a time (next year I loop back down to 7th) has been quite the change.

Now, I can't tell you much about my students out of respect and confidentiality.
But I will tell you this:
This has been professionally one of my toughest years. If you didn't catch it from the large sized font above, I have an extremely unique and diverse group of students this year.
I come home every night completely physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted. Some of you may be thinking, "Well you are surrounded by 13 year olds all day, of course you are." But there's just something about this group of students that wears me out more so than my first two years of teaching.

I've also found myself personally investing everything I have into all aspects of what these kids have going on. If I'm not in a colleague's classroom asking for classroom management advice for a single student, then I'm staying late in my classroom to making extra assignments to challenge others. Or I'm staying up late searching for and emailing tips to parents for a struggling reader. Or I'm tossing and turning in bed over a recent bullying issue that's come up.
All of this is of course "normal" teacher stuff. It just seems as though this year there's about ten times more, and in a landslide.

Fortunately, with challenges do come rewards. Since September I feel as though all of my students have come leaps and bounds academically and as young adults, no matter where each individual student started in September. 

With all of that said, I am having fun with them.
The most important part about teaching middle school is to roll with the punches, and have a sense of humor. This is an adage that I've always known, but has been tested and reconfirmed this year.

And by the way, I told all of my precious young gems that if 100% of them got either an A, B, or C in Quarter 3, I'd dye my hair pink. 

Yup. 

I'll keep you updated. 

And I'll keep repeating this:

(Pinterest)

OKAY MOVING ON. (Because believe it or not my career isn't the only thing in my life.)

Marriage

As of yesterday, my darling husband and I have been married for exactly a year. 

All good parties have sparklers.

 

Being married to my saint of a husband actually has made my life easier than harder. As a matter of fact, he was the person encouraging me to get blogging again and take some time for myself. 

 He cooks when I am tired, (every night) finds my keys and my hairbrush when I'm going crazy, (all of the time) and wakes me up when I fall asleep on the couch at 8:30. Even though sometimes I wake up irrationally angry about the fact that he brushed his teeth before me. 

Having said that, if anyone ever tells you that marriage isn't work, they are lying.
If they ever tell you that it's just like being in a committed relationship, they are still lying.
And if they also ever tell you that the first year there shouldn't be any disagreements because you're supposed to still be on the honeymoon, then call them a liar.
Because they have lied to you three times. That liar.

Marriage is work, and it's somehow inexplicably different than just  being in a relationship with someone, and the honeymoon is never over but that doesn't mean that you can't have disagreements.

 I can't explain it to you because I can't, it's just different. And kind of the same. And easy. And hard. And awesome.  All at the same time.

Either way, it's worth it, and it's fun. And he doesn't make me feel like a Princess, because I am a Queen and which he tells me everyday. And he's not Prince Charming, he's the genie from Aladdin. Because genie much cooler than any of the other princes anyway. 

 

We Got A Kitten!

Linus checking out the couch.

 

He got comfortable about 3 minutes in.

 Well he's not quite a kitten anymore...

 Well, he's kind of still a kitten, but not as much as when we first adopted him.

 Meet Linus. 

We adopted him at the end of October. He was 4 1/2 months old when we adopted him, which puts him at about 8 1/2 months today.

There's a whole story behind why we decided to get a cat, why we picked him, and his name, but I can tell you about all of that later.

Pretty much what you need to know is that if curiousity really did kill the cat, he would be dead. He is all over the place, brave, and always in something he shouldn't be. He wakes us up in the middle of the night by playing with curtains, he eats dog food, attacks toes, chases his tail, and has literally ripped an earring out of my ear. He's a lunatic covered in fur. 

But, he's also pretty sweet. When you come for the day, he cries and cries for you to pick him up. He's always waiting for you when you get out of the shower, and gives you kitty kisses while purring in your arms. I try to ignore the fact that he likes Dave better than he likes me.

Most importantly, he and Bruin are two peas in a pod. They are two peas in a pod, they follow each other around, and keep each other company.

Did I mention that they cuddle?

Adorable right?

Sorry for the cuteness overload.

Don't worry, I have more, but I'll save them for later.

Crafty-ness?

I don't have a crafty or homemaking bone in my body. But Pinterest has tricked me into thinking that I have the ability to be crafty. I've hung up and arranged lots of photos, made a cute little wall arrangement in my bedroom with wooden letters, and redid some bureaus in my bedroom. 

And cooking? Don't even get me started on the fact that I've used Polenta in a recipe.

I know, I'm blowing your mind. 

I'll try to make a priority to post the process or whatever of either one. Because I know you're all just dying to know what color I did my bedroom furniture and what wooden letters I painted for my bedroom wall. Just a taste.

Taking Photos/Adventuring/Being Awesome

In between essentially September and February, there is a lot of opportunity for adventuring and taking photos. Between the swarm of holidays, birthdays and long weekends I've been going and going and going. This vacation was a great time for me to just take a break. 

Maybe at some point I'll fill you in on all of my hanging out with family or gallivanting in the woods with friends. Maybe I won't, we'll see. But for now I'll again just give a teaser of some good times. 

And that my friends is it in a very wordy nutshell. 

I hope you enjoyed. Now that I've recapped my life and gotten you up to date on the essentials, I can move on to guilt free blogging. 

Now, the nice thing about not blogging for 5 months is that I now have extra stuff to blog about if I know I want to write but am having writers block. I've turned it all into a win-win!

Until next time, stay fabulous!